I realized I forgot to introduce my cat. She was Billy’s cat to begin with and I married in to her life. She is the definition of RBF.

Billy saved her from the side of the road when she was 2 weeks old. She’s been his ride-or-die ever since. She talks so much. I truly didn’t think cats could meow as much as a person speaks but she has taught me otherwise. She also is credited with encouraging both of our kids to crawl and to travel up the stairs on their own. So, Olivia, thank you for your service.

Moving On…

Leading up to my birthday, which is tomorrow, I’ve had the most roller coastery week! Billy was off work (yay!), I got sick (boo!), we walked around the lake and saw furry woodland creatures (yay!), Billy had a dentist appointment (boo!), we all got birthday donuts from Krispy Kreme (yay!), we didn’t get to do fun birthday plans because I got the plague (boo!), I had the best birthday party ever (yay!), Billy is back at work today (boo!). Through all the ups and downs I had my best friend with me the whole time. We laughed, we cried, we got stronger each day.

The Man Cold

At the risk of testing the universe I’m going to say that I don’t get sick. I am a healthy person with a strong immune system and good hand-washing habits. “Sick” just isn’t me, most of the time. We’ve all heard of the “man cold”. This horrible illness that takes over a man’s entire being and confines him to his couch or his bed and makes him incapable of doing anything for himself or others.

Well that was me. I had the Man Cold. I laid in bed, I couldn’t make my own breakfast, the kids thought I moved out, all of it. And here’s the best part: Billy kept the house going. He left me alone and wrangled the kids when I needed to sleep, he made the food, he cleaned up and didn’t make me feel bad for any of it. Now, is he the type of person who would be expected to make me feel bad for not helping him organize the house and care for the rascals children? No. But the mom guilt is real. Because it is my full time job, I feel the responsibility to always be there to do the mom things (and the house things) regardless of what I have going on personally. My wonderful husband never expects or requires anything of me. We are true teammates and I am grateful for that. Especially when I hear of other relationships where one person doesn’t consider the needs of their partner. Billy shows me selfless, Christlike love everyday and I can only hope that I am doing everything I can to show him my appreciation and to teach my daughters what to look for and how to find goodness in their future love stories.

Lesson #1: Billy is willing to help and complete almost any task I ask of him. However, his timing does not always line up with what I have in mind. So I’ve learned that if I ask him to do something I need to decide which matters most to me: having it done when I want it done or not having to do it myself. If I want the blessing of not having to do the thing MYSELF, I must also not expect the thing to be done according to MY schedule. But if I want the thing done at a specific moment, I must be okay with doing thing myself. And of course, communicating all of these thoughts and expectations is crucial for a healthy relationship.

The Party

I used to work with a spectacular woman named Ronnie. She is one of these phenomenal people who understands so much about so much. She is outgoing and caring and generous. She truly seems like the good natured, never going to be touched by darkness or pain or rain clouds fictional character (because people like her just aren’t real) in your favorite book (or movie, because her knowledge of pop culture is out of this world as well) person that has ever existed or been imagined. I tell Billy all the time that she has no idea how influential she is because of how much I learned from her in the short time she was in my life. One of the many things I learned from her is the importance of birthdays. She put so much time and effort into planning birthday celebrations for herself and her loved ones. Seeing her do that encouraged me to see the value in having a party or event to celebrate birthdays also.

This brings us to my 27th birthday party. Post Malone was the theme, Nickelmania the venue. The grandest chocolate cake and the thuggest face tats. Incredible friends and family, it was so much fun. Lesson #2: How to ensure a happy birthday celebration. I’ve had too many birthdays that ended in disappointment. So this year I decided to actually celebrate my own birthday. Billy gifted me with a pin 2 years ago that says “Birthday Girl” that I have worn every day since August 1 so far this year. (By the way, every person who noticed it asked who the birthday girl was. Do other parents wear birthday pins on their children’s birthdays? That’s just wrong.) I chose to have a party at a place where my family always has fun so that even if none of my invitees came we would still have memories to mark the occasion. I got the cake* I wanted, had fun activities that were unique to my preferences (faaace taaats and air hockey), and focused on what would make me happy. Thankfully, everyone who attended also enjoyed their time (I hope).

The End

And my birthday concluded as every birthday should, on a saddle trying to lasso a camera with a cloth napkin, under the neon lights. Thanks for a fantastic birthday, everyone.

*Remember in “Matilda” (1996) the huge chocolate cake Ms. Trunchbull forced Bruce to eat on stage in front of the whole school? That was the cake I wanted for my birthday and I got it. Costco always had them and I longed for an occasion to get one and finally my birthday came around. However, I found out that about 2 weeks before my party they discontinued this particular”All American Chocolate Cake”. So I sat in the parking lot of my local Costco calling the other locations asking, pleading, begging for there to be just one left somewhere and there was. So I bought it. A week in advance. And hoped that it would taste just as delicious as I dreamed it would after living in the freezer for a full seven days. And it did. Best sugar coma and bloated gut I’ve ever experienced. I salute you, All American Chocolate Cake.